its a damn cold night

omg. i can't sleep. its 1.30 a.m now and its so damn cold night.
so, i open my laptop and start to type. even, i'm feel sleepy, but i cant sleep. too much thing in my mind right now.

things start this afternoon. when my dad comes home with this letter. from some college offfered me for continuing my study. i kept in my mind and myself that i want to futhering my study at UNITY COLLEGE at PJ in architectures. i know it's a hard work and i need to struggle a lot. but i like the course. no doubt.

but, suddenly, my father asked me to re-think my decision. he asked me to go to this baitulmal college(UiTM collabration) in accounting. i dont want. its clearly said that baitulmal college 100% helps student in financial. RM250 pocket money per month. meaning that this college helps poor islamic student to, you know, great in academic. i'm not poor!!! for god sake.

now, my father called Mrs.Myha or something. there's a college, can't remember what the name of that college. its UPM collabration. he apply for me a hotel and catering management. i'm fine with it. but..... i dont know. i dont know whether this certificate in hotel and catering management can help me go far. hey, its all about money.

i'm feel so sad. really sad. i dont where i'm about to go. architectures or hotel management. in architecturer i really need to struggle. really. think outside the box. moving faster. everythings i do, must be over the top. but apart rom all that, i need skills in drawing. lol, i got 6C for engineering drawing. even in primary school, i got C and D for art.wtf with that?

in hotel and catering management, as long as i'm creative, i'll go far.but, i'm creative. think something creative to attract customer. because first rule in bussiness is CUSTOMERS ALWAYS RIGHT. i'm a fighter. i always fight. with everyone. i'm not a great cook. i cant speak english fluently. so how?

being a architect or hotel manager? which one bring more money? i hate studying in stressful situation. not to mention, arcitercturer fee for 6 semester is RM25000. dont know for hotel and catering management. but my dad said, its okay to eat instant noodles everyday as long as we need money for something that we like. so.....?

i have no fcuking idea. gosh, its stressful. lol, i'm not even start study, but i'm already stressful. HELP ME!!!!